The term BDSM has been around long before Rihanna’s hit song S&M but do you know what it means? If you have been confused by this term and you don't know if it means you’re going to be tied up and have hot wax dripped on your genitals or just blindfolded and tickled, you have come to the right place. Today we are going to demystify the term BDSM.

BDSM is a catchall phrase that describes the journey people take to explore their boundaries with pleasure and pain. It lets you explore the limits of your mind and some people can even achieve altered state of consciousness. It is an anachronism for three different but related practices.

B

This letter stands for bondage. Bondage is the act of one partner constraining the other for mutual satisfaction. Often bondage is connected another word – Discipline. People who incorporate discipline with their bondage practice like to add the role of punishment as part of their sexual play. People restrain each other with things a simple as neck ties to more complex bondage equipment like suspension cuffs and everything in between.

D

This letter stands for dominance and submission. D/s play creates a dynamic where one partner is dominant and the other partner is submissive. The dominant partner is in charge of the play session while the other partner submits to it. Either role may be played by either partner. Some people prefer to play the same role every time while others like to switch it up.

S M

These letters stand for Sadism and Masochism. This activity explores the difference physical sensations and psychological or emotional states that occur when pain, discomfort and punishment are inflicted by one person onto another. Sadists enjoy inflicting pain and discomfort on others while masochists enjoy receiving it. Although this might sound like a horrible sexual activity to non-practitioners, participants of this activity find it quite enjoyable. Just remember that when practicing S&M games place safe. For safety tips please read the blog Safety is a Part of BDSM Play.

Sometimes people who are unfamiliar with these activities can't understand how pain can be erotic and pleasurable. Pain is usually associated with discomfort. In reality, the difference between pleasure and pain is a very fine line. Many people like to explore the different sensations that borders between the two. They like to test their strength, endurance and resilience until their body release endorphins that cause euphoric arousal and a natural high.

Now that you know what BDSM stands for, are you ready to give it a try? If these activities appeal to you find a willing partner, create rules and boundaries and start exploring.

Just remember play safe and have fun!

When I began the Pure Rapture blog, my goal was to help people improve their sex lives. I wanted to be able to give them new tips and tricks for the bedroom, educate them about proper hygiene, and suggest new techniques and games to make life a little more interesting. I didn't want to blog about my products, and I didn't want the blog to seem like one big marketing advertisement for my store. So, please forgive this following article.

I decided to write this article because over the past three months, I have answered more customer questions about the Sanuk cyber vibrator than any other sex toy in my store. It has also been my best seller for the same time period.

What is it?

At the most basic level, the Sanuk cyber vibrator is a remote control vibrator. Remote control vibrators are designed for couples. One partner has control of the vibrator, while the other person uses it. Most remote control vibrators have a limited frequency range. The remote control may only activate the vibrator from as little as 10 feet away or as far as 30 feet away. At most, one partner can be in one room while the other partner is in another.

However, the Sanuk cyber vibrator takes the idea of remote operation to a whole new level. It is an internet controlled vibrator. Now you can be on the other side of the world and as long as you have an internet connection, you will be able to pleasure your partner. Add a web cam and it doesn't matter where business takes you. You will still be able to get it on with your loved one.

Incredibly powerful

Nowadays, it's very easy to get multispeed vibrators, or vibrators that have fixed speeds that can range from one to 10 levels. Despite having up to 10 speed levels, most vibrators really only have four or five intensity levels. Pure Rapture rates all of its vibrators with an intensity rating from one to five. We had to give the Sanuk an intensity rating of 8 out of 5 because it is so strong. Because it's so strong the manufacturer was able to create 20 different distinct vibration speeds.

Programmable

This is what makes the Sanuk cyber vibrator really interesting. You are able to create your own personalized programs that can be up to 50 minutes long. Create programs that tease your lover. Slowly build the intensity that will take her to the edge of orgasm and then bring her back down. Or, create a program that will make her orgasm in 5 minutes. You are only limited by your imagination.

Unique Shape

if you're going to have a vibrator that can be operated from the other side of the world, and is programmable to perform exactly how you want, it better feel unlike any other vibrator in the market. That's why the Sanuk cyber vibrator is shaped unlike any other vibrator in the marketplace. It is 9” long and tapers from 1.75” to 1.25”. It has an undulating shape that helps to send the perfect vibration intensity from the programming.

Quality Materials

The Sanuk vibrator is made from medical grade phthalate free silicone. Next to glass, I consider silicone to be one of the safest materials for sex toys. It is nonporous so it is easy to keep clean and prevent bodily fluids from accumulating.

You also get everything you need to make sure that playtime will not be compromised because of a missing part or cable. You get all the cables, cord and software for years of fun. Everything comes in a steel case that makes it easy for travel or storage. Altogether, the whole package weighs 2 lbs.. Don't let the cables and software scare you. Everything is very easy to use and if you have ever installed software, you can do this.

Testimonial

it's one thing for me to say that I think this is the world's best Internet control vibrator, after all I do sell the product and people expect that. But here is a copy of an e-mail from a recent Sanuk customer (Samantha is a member of my customer service team):

Greetings Samantha and Associates,

The Sanuk arrived this week.  Really cool!!!  Powerful and so much fun for
us technology folks!

Thanks for the awesome service.  You're the best!

Marianne

Well, I and going to leave it there. I hope that I have answered some questions for those of you interested in Internet control vibrators and Sanuk cyber vibrator in particular. I promise not to make product oriented blogs a regular part of my postings. It just seems that a lot of people had many questions about this product. If I haven't answered your questions, feel free to contact me at customercare@purerapture.com.

Now go have an orgasm!

Congratulations to Marnie H. from Newcastle, Australia for winning February's Bullet Vibrator Contest.

Marnie won the Mini Mouse waterproof egg vibrator.

Don't make a mistake by under estimating this bullet vibrator because it looks cute. It's vibration strength rating is 5 out of 5 and it has 7 adjustable speeds.

Marnie was automatically entered into February's vibrator contest because she purchased from Pure Rapture in 2010.

People become automatically entered in the contest every month if they are a previous customer, newsletter subscriber, or just entered through the field on the right.

I invite you to enter our contest. Don't worry, we won't spam you. However, we will send you an email about our sales events a few times a year.

Enjoy your new egg vibrator Marnie!

Carolina

Maybe it is the merchant in me, but when I decided to do a blog on bondage collars I thought I might be doing a comparison between leather collars, steel collars or collars with rings or studs etc. However, after doing some research and speaking with a dominatrix friend, I learned that there is a lot more to slave collars than simply placing a metal and leather bondage collar around someone's neck.

While slave collars are traditionally thought of like the one above, the point of this blog is not to discuss BDSM bondage collar fashion and accessories. Rather, it’s about the three types of psychological collars that a dominant can place on his submissive.

Collar of Consideration

I'm pretty confident that if you are new to the BDSM scene, you probably haven't heard of this collar. The problem many new Masters and slaves have is that they are so eager to rush into the scene they don't take the time to appreciate the development of the master and slave relationship.

When a collar of consideration is offered, it means the master is interested in the person as a potential slave. If the slave accepts the collar of consideration she's saying that she is no longer interested in any other master and is willing to see if the relationship can work. The caller can be as simple as stainless steel chain with a lock around the neck, or even a beautiful gold chain. The point is the slave cannot remove the collar. Only the Master can. This collar is worn 24/7 and serves as a reminder to the relationship the slave has entered into.

Training Collar

A training collar should never be offered to a mere submissive. A Master should only offer this collar to a slave. The training collar offer says “I think you're what I'm looking for. Let's see how you like me as a master and I like you as a slave”. In my friend’s opinion, this is the time a Master gives her slave the stereotypical black leather bondage collar. This is the collar your slave will wear during the training period. Depending on your plans for your slave, you may want to get a collar that has a leash, or rings that allow for bondage positions.

Full Collar

If the training is successful and both Master and slave agree to take the D/s relationship further, a full collar can be offered to the slave. The master should never offer a full collar unless she is sure that this is a relationship she can live with and it is beneficial to her and her slave.  You will want to get a new bondage collar for this occasion.

A full collar is a complete commitment between the master and slave. The master is acknowledging the slave as his property and the slave agrees that his words are law. Despite this strong idea, remember that this relationship is consensual. A slave can leave the relationship at any time, and many will once a master stops providing a reason to stay.

There is more to collaring a slave than the physical manifestation of a bondage collar. Collaring is a concept. It helps to form and strengthen the D/s relationship. The physical aspect of the slave collar helps to remind your slave their role in the relationship they entered.

Now go play safe and have fun!

The idea for this blog came while I was watching an episode from Sex in the City. It was the episode when Samantha gets a boyfriend who has a really small penis. For once, Samantha really liked the guy but she had trouble staying with him because of his penis size. She tried different positions and even tried to convince herself that size didn't matter. However, in the long run she couldn't stay with him because of his small dick.

After the show was over, I began to think what would I do if my husband had a small dick? Although funny on TV, I can see how this can pose some real challenges to a couple. So what can you do if your man has a small penis? After some thought and a little research, here are four ways to get around your small penis problem.

Get a Glass Dildo

If your man has a small penis, you probably miss the feeling of being full during intercourse. Dildos are non-vibrating phallic shaped objects that are shaped to resemble and feel like the real thing. Glass dildos are heavier than other dildos. This added weight helps to complete the feeling of fullness. Glass is also extremely hygienic which makes it one of the best materials for insertable sex toys. So when you get that craving to feel your pussy stuffed, don't get upset that he can't get the job done. Just reach for your glass dildo.

Good at Pussy Licking

There certainly is more the sex than just having your vagina filled with a huge cock. Don't get me wrong, I love big cock too. It is just that I have had plenty of great orgasms without ever having intercourse. In my opinion, if your man can’t please you with his penis, he better be able to please you with his tongue. If you're small dicked man is good at cunnilingus, I am sure you still have him around. If he is not so good down there, don't kick him to the curb. All he needs is to be taught what to do. Instruct him about what you like and don't like. Tell him when to speed up or slow down. And if you don't want to do that, have him read my blog article 7 Steps to Great Pussy Licking.

Get Him a Penis Extender

Penis extenders have been around for a long time, and I even sell a few different types. Penis extender devices come in many different shapes, sizes, designs and names, but they all have the same purpose which is to stretch the penis and make it larger. Some penis stretchers use a mechanical method to physically stretch and expand the penis while others use a vacuum/suction method. I cannot say if they work or not. My husband doesn't need it, and I do not know of any guys who have used one. However, I have sold many penis extenders and no one has contacted me to say that it is a rip off and doesn't work.

Deal With It

Just like there is more to sex than a huge cock, there is more to love and relationships than sex. If your guy treats you well, respects you and you love being with him, then why would you ever leave him because of penis size? A good man brings more to the table than a penis. If he makes you happy in all other aspects of your life, get over the small penis and count your blessings that you have such a good man.

So if your man just isn't able to stretch your vagina as much as you like, don't get rid of him. Implement one or more of these tips to see if you can solve your problem. A good man is hard to find. It would be a waste to lose one just because he was at the end of the line when God was handing out penises.

I don't know about you, but my first thoughts about BDSM used to be that it is violent and dangerous. However, I have learned that BDSM is not violent. Restraining and conflicting pain to a consensual partner is just kinky. BDSM can be dangerous. It doesn't matter if all you are doing is simple role playing with spanking and light bondage, or something more extreme like whippings and floggings, safety comes first.

Remember these six tips before you start any BDSM scene to ensure that playtime will be fun for both of you and safe for your submissive.

Know what you're doing.

 If you haven’t tried something and you want to experiment, learn of as much as you can about the subject before you begin. Do an internet search. Visit chat rooms and forums. Ask people for advice.

Be prepared for worst-case scenarios.

Always make sure that you have a fully stocked first aid kit nearby. If you plan on experiencing the extreme edges of the scene, you should probably learn CPR as well.

Use quality bondage equipment.

Your partner will have a much better experience with a set of fur-lined bondage cuffs instead of that old piece of yellow rope from the garage. Bondage gear is designed for a specific purpose: to provide a safe and comfortable experience to the user.

Get your submissive a safe word.

Safe words can be any word not normally used during playtime and should be something easy for a slave to remember. As soon as the safe word is uttered, the Dominant needs to stop whatever he or she is doing immediately. If the slave cannot speak because it's gagged, use a safe hand signal instead.

Be Vigilant

The dominant partner must be extra vigilant during playtime. You do not want the scene to become so extreme your slave is unable to utter the safe word. Remember, a good Dominant always puts the welfare of her slave first.

Don't play impaired.

When one or both of you is drunk or high, your judgment will be impaired. It is easy to push something a little too far and take something from fun to extreme, or extreme and dangerous when you are impaired.

If you have ever wanted to try BDSM but have been afraid to start, you can feel confident that by following these five steps you will be on your way to a safe experience. Like all sex play, BDSM should only occur between consenting adults. Everyone must understand what the scene entails before it begins and all limits must be respected.

Now place safe and have fun!

I learned about this game from one of my girlfriends recently, and after trying it for the first time this past weekend, it was so good I'm ashamed that I didn't think of it myself. My husband agreed that we both thought the game was fun, especially when it's easy to switch roles.

Masturbation Slave allows you to explore your dominant and submissive sides depending on which role you play. When you are in command, you control the amount of pleasure and sexual tension your partner experiences. Sweet release only happens when you say so. On the other hand, if you are playing the slave role, you are the one who gets to enjoy the increase in sexual tension.

Getting Ready

Dress in an outfit that makes you feel powerful and let your partner know that you are the boss. This doesn't mean that you have dress like a dominatrix or slave master.  Dress like an Arab sheik, a princess or even a high-powered business executive. Make sure you have sex toys ready for your slave’s masturbation session. You will need personal lubricant, a cloth or towel, and some masturbation toys. For male slaves, try using a fleshlight or a Tenga cup. Females can use any vibrator, but I recommend either strap on vibrators because they are hands free or remote control vibrators because the slave has no control over the intensity or duration.

For those of you who are ready to go a little further, I highly recommend having some bondage cuffs or spreader bar on hand. These devices reduce the masturbation slave’s ability to exert control, thereby making game even more delicious.

Playing the Game

Dressed in your power outfit, approach your partner and strip him or her naked. Order your lover to touch himself while you watch. If you want him to touch you, caress your breasts, suck your nipples, or rub your thighs, tell him to do it, and do not let him stop until you have had enough. Just make sure that he is touching himself at the same time he is pleasing you.

Turn on the TV and start watching a porno together. After watching it for awhile, tell him to start masturbating. After a few minutes, make him stop. Repeat this as often as you like, but the point to remember is that you want to keep increasing your masturbation slave’s sexual tension. At first, the slave should only be using his or her hand. As the session goes on, start to use the sex toys.

For those of you using the bondage equipment now is the time to get it out. Bind your slave’s wrists together, or attach them to the spreader bar. The point is you no longer want your slave to touch him or herself. You are now in complete control of masturbation. If your partner is male, start slowly masturbating him with your male masturbator while watching the movie. Slowly slide the sex toy up and down making sure that he doesn't orgasm. If your partner is female, start using the vibrator on her. This is why I recommend either using a remote control vibrator or a strap on vibrator. Remote control vibrators let you insert the toy, starting and stopping at your pleasure while you both sit back and watch the movie. Strap on vibrators also let you both sit back except you do not have the same freedom as a wireless remote control vibrator.

After you have tried this game in one role, the next time you play it reverse roles. My husband and I have tried both roles, and we agree there are benefits to each. Each of us has found the masturbation slave position to be liberating, and as master, we have been able to fulfill fantasies that we have had about watching our partner. Take it from me; this is a great sex game. I really enjoyed it, and I hope you will too!

Congratulations to Melissa M. from Calgary, Canada for winning this month's vibrator contest.

Melissa won a Magic Bowling Pin waterproof bullet vibrator.

This is our longest bullet vibrator.  It has seven speeds and a 4 out of 5 power rating.

Melissa won this vibrator simply by entering our contest.  If you haven't entered our monthly draw, it's not to late.  Just sign up for our newsletter, or enter through the field on the right of your screen.

Enjoy your new sex toy Melissa!

Everyone has heard of the word dildo, but do you really know what a dildo is? Many people think that dildos are simply vibrators by another term. This thinking has caused the dildo to get short shrift at sex toy stores where it is often overlooked and under appreciated by shoppers. Hopefully though, after reading this blog you will view dildos in a new light.

So what are dildos anyways? Simply put, a dildo is a non-vibrating curved or straight object that is used inside a vagina or anus. It can be thick or thin, long or short and soft or hard. Dildos have existed for thousands of years. Dildo artifacts found in China have been made from wood, ivory and jade. The Kama Sutra refers to dildos made from wood and reeds. Ancient cave paintings even exist depicting images that look like dildos.

From the above definition, it sounds like a lot of objects can be considered dildos. Depending on how loosely stick to the definition, and your personal taste, will determine the limits of what can be used as a dildo. Potential dildos are all around you. You could use a pencil, a hair brush handle, a broomstick or even fruits or vegetables. If you choose to use a household item, make sure that you use it in a hygienic manner. Cover every object with a condom before use, and wash the object after use to prevent it from becoming unsanitary for its original purpose.

_ While almost anything can be used as a dildo, I highly recommend that you purchase an object that is specifically designed as a sex toy. Sex toy specific items are designed to be body friendly. They do not have hard corners, sharp edges or seams which can cause injury and infection. Sex toys are also much easier to keep clean than other objects. The materials from which there may are often nonporous and made from medical grade materials. Can you say the same thing about your hair brush handle?

So what makes a great dildo? The knee jerk answer to that question is personal preference. However, to really answer the question, you have to understand what the dildo is designed for. A dildo does not provide intense stimulation like a vibrator. It is designed to provide the same feeling you get from a partner’s penis. It should make you feel satisfied and stuffed. A good dildo can apply additional pressure to those special spots that only a cock can touch. It can move inside you the way a partner does and it hits the places your fingers can't.

Before you start shopping for a dildo, in need to ask yourself this very important question, what do I want to have inside of me? Think about the girth before you go any further. With this type of sex toy, thickness makes all the difference.

Once you have decided if you want your dildo to be thick or thin, your next decision is length. The average vagina is about six inches long when aroused, and the average length of the penis is 5 1/2 inches. Dildos range in size from 5 inches to over 14 inches. Although length is ultimately up to you, I recommend that you get a dildo between six and 9 inches long. A longer dildo provides added length which will help you hold it, but going more than 9 inches is really a little overkill. The simple fact of the matter is your vagina probably can’t take the extra length.

You also need to pay attention to the material from which your dildo is made. Modern dildos are made from a variety of different materials. You can get dildos made from jelly, silicone, rubber, glass, wood or metal. You can even get dildos made from material that feels like real skin. If you would like a soft dildo, select a product made from jelly, silicone, rubber or flesh like material. Silicone is the most hygienic option from these choices because it is nonporous but the other materials are safe to use when cleaned properly. My personal material of choice for dildos is glass. Glass is strong, sturdy, nonporous and in incredibly hygienic. You can actually clean these dildos in your dishwasher. Now that's clean!

In my opinion, a dildo is a must have for every girls toy box. They provide a different experience than vibrators and they are not dependent on batteries. Some men worry that their wives vibrator will become more important to her than they are penis. Really what they should be worried about is that quiet unassuming dildo. It feels as good as the penis and is always ready to go!